Last night in Kenya

I am leaving Kenya tomorrow night. Even typing it, my heart is heavy.

This is probably be my last post from Africa, but I still want to share lots of stories as I go home. So often I think our "mission" trips are all about what we learn while we are here. I keep trying to figure that out- what have I learned here? We sit down and groups and say "So, what has God taught you during your trip?" But I'm starting to think- maybe it's not really about what we learn... because it's not really about us.

We didn't come here for ourselves. We shouldn't travel to Africa to change OUR lives. Yes, while we are here that can definitely happen (I know it did for me), be we so often focus on ourselves when were coming here...
the lessons I learn,
    the experience I am going to have,
        the cute pictures I'm going to take,
             how it's going to change my life,
                  the good works that I am going to do.

And that's the other tendency- we tend to think we are doing something good/right/extraordinary/extra-Christian. But I am not here for me. I have done nothing good. I am no one extraordinary. I am simply obeying God's commands. To proclaim good news to the poor. The have the good news preached to the poor. To distribute to the poor. To go and make disciples of all nations. To give liberty to those who are oppressed. To care for the poor.

I think the biggest thing I've learned, more like REALIZED is that I don't want to learn things about God or learn more about my relationship with Him while I am here. I want to really SEEK HIM and KNOW HIM. Not just learn about Him. I want to daily be closer to the Lord than I was the day before. I want to daily surrender more of my life and my flesh and have His Spirit reign in me. I want to have more faith in the Spirit that is alive in me. It's a process, not a lesson to be learned. I want to live and serve and love in a way that people see GOD not me.

Because it's not about me....